May's Pick: Cinderella Ate My Daughter

Book:  Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture
Author:  Peggy Orenstein
Rating:     5

This is the FIRST OFFICIAL book of our book club here.  We begin reading/discussing May 15.  Go get/rent/borrow it!

REVIEW:
In the spirit of this blog----"mothers have no time/I'd rather do an "okay" job and have it done than sit on it forever" -----I've decided to keep my reviews short and simple.


Every parent of a daughter should read this book. 
At the least, every parent of a daughter should read the first chapter.

As I was reading this book and talking about it daily, I would get reactions from moms like:
1.  "Everything in moderation is fine." 
2.  "My daughter went through it and she's 9 now and doesn't care about princesses."
3.  "It's just girls being girls."
4.  "Moms these days are too worried about every little thing."
5.  "Oh, please.  Why does everything have to be so gender neutral?"

I may have said one of these things before I read the book... but this is not what the book is about!  It's about the parts we DON'T realize.  That aren't obvious.  CONFESSION:  I have a bit of a pet peeve when it comes to people weighing in on things without having actually read them.

To answer just two of the above comments:

2.  Yes, Orenstein addresses this.  As the Disney execs will tell you--- all girls DO pass through it.  That isn't the point.  3-5 yrs old is the time when girls are forming their ideas of who they are, yet are also the most rigid in their thinking.  Take my daughter.  Not yet 4, she already refuses to wear anything that a princess wouldn't wear including shorts and her glasses.  I mean, she will throw herself on the floor before wearing shorts.  Yes, part of me says who cares--but the part that read this book says she is boxing herself in to thinking that she isn't beautiful in shorts (yes, her exact words).It isn't the fact that they shouldn't have access to this stuff--it's that they are using it to define them, their sense of beauty, acceptance, etc--from here on out.  Orenstein does a better job of disseminating the research (and I only start labeling quotes the last 30 pages when it finally occurred to me).
4.  Hmm, not really.  Or maybe the wrong things in some cases.  We give in because it's a tiring job.  But lip gloss, vanity mirror, etc.  Try to think of specific girl toys that have NOTHING to do with looks.  Try to even offhandedly compliment your daughter without it being about her looks or attire in ANY way.

As my friend Stacy put it below, "What strikes me the MOST...I think it would be my own realization of how numb I had become to the marketing and products targeting little girls."

It is a slow, slow, slippery slope. I feel like I'm not even sure how we ended up with so much princess stuff OR how we went from Zoe wanting EVERY Thomas train and boy Toy Story undies to only caring about wearing skirts or dresses.

Bottom line---- read it/scan it/Google articles on it.  It's important and eye-opening.

Ignore them for a book vs. an iPhone

Read with us wherever you are in the world.  Moms or not, commit to reading 5 minutes a day.  Surely, we can find 5 minutes to indulge in a BOOK--and what a great example for our kids to see us ignore them for a book vs. an iPhone

I'm Over All That

Book:  I'm Over All That
Author:  Shirley MacLaine
Rating: 4     (1-5)

  I started reading Shirley MacLaine the summer after I graduated college in 2002.  I have now read 11 of Shirley's 12 books.  (Waiting to read 'Out on a Leash' when I am ready to be a dog owner.)
I love this woman.  As I like to say, Shirley MacLaine is my favorite person I've never met.
I loved the book, but it hasn't replaced my favorites of hers.  (Out on a Limb, It's All in the Playing and The Camino.)
If you're open-minded, you'll enjoy her point of view.  If you're curious, her insights make for great discussion and probing.
A lot of the book is her giving a quick opinion on certain subjects (rude people,  boring people, liberals and conservatives, vanity, fear based religions, her time with Sinatra, Jack Kennedy, etc.).  But the parts I liked best involved her talking about spirituality and how it ties into what is happening with the world today-- the speeding up of everything and human beings not tapping into the connection they share.
This was a quick read and I loved almost every minute.  Giving it 4 stars only because it still dosn't make my Top 3 Shirley MacLaine favs.

I'll leave you with one of the passages I enjoyed:
"We go about our lives, or work, our shopping, our raising of children, in half-trance.  We don't know what to do about the speed of life and information that we can't keep up with.  We don't even know we can't keep up.  We just feel it... We are half awake as to who we are, who we aren't, and even what our needs would be if they could be fulfilled."

Bossypants

Book:  Bossypants
Author:  Tina Fey
Rating:  5   (1-5)

Technically, I finished this last week, so I won't elaborate, but I loved it.  I love her humor and found myself cracking up every 3-5 pages--- who laughs out loud at a book?  I also really appreciate her no-nonsense feminism.  She doesn't waste time with the issue, she just seem to press through them.  Also, it made me feel like we are best friends, so you might want to stalk her a little bit after reading this book.  Loved it.

The D.R.E.A.M.

Let me first say, I am a doer----not a perfectionist.
I wholeheartedly believe in these two things about so-called perfectionism:
1.  The perfect is the enemy of the good. -Voltaire
2.  Perfectionist is just a nicer word for Procrastinator. 

I am also a mother.  A Mother/Doer.  Family birthday?  Pictures uploaded same day.  Someone's birthday?  Let's just quickly make all the birthday cards we'll need for the month so we don't forget.  Do I feel bad that I have my 3 year old sit and draw them all at once?  No.  Do I feel guilty when she's bored halfway thru and only finishes with one color crayon?  No.  Because, I KNOW they won't get picked up again if we stop now--- the thought won't get finished, and I am sorry, it's not really so much the thought that counts.  We started the cards, let's have our friends open them on their birthday and have a smile!

I hear a lot of moms talk about what they don't have time for.  Now, I have two kids-- I totally get it.  But ultimately, we make time for the things that are important to us.  Even if it's only 3.9 minutes a day.  It adds up.  There is always a choice.  Leave the clean up and watch Modern Family?  Abandon the laundry and hop on Facebook for 30 minutes?

But sometimes if I mention a book I am reading, I'll get a judgmental quip back, "Wow, how do you have time to read books?  I have no time with kids, the house, cooking...", etc.  Who has time?  I take it out of my sleep, I do it while I nurse, or I set my kids up with some toys and do it.  I just love to read too much.

So, for all the moms out there who love to read and feel guilty about it--- or have let it slip and want to get back to the Ravenous-Book-Place--- here is my blog.  I am going to post about whatever book I am currently reading.  Hopefully you can get a copy from your library or book store and read along with me.  We'll be the kind of online book club you'd actually like to go to in clean clothes every Tuesday, but here I care a little less about hygiene, so you're more likely to show.

I may slack off from time to time and not be reading, so feel free to call me on it.

Here's to D.R.E.A.M. Book Club... Determined Readers Even After Motherhood.